🔗 Share this article Late-Night Hosts Take Aim At Trump's New 'Gold Card' Immigration Scheme TV's prominent entertainers devoted their evening criticizing President Donald Trump's recently announced visa program, dubbed the "gold card," characterizing it as a blatant pay-for-access arrangement for the wealthy. Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Spin Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical holiday jingle directed at the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, and then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... ruins each thing he touches." The focus was the controversial initiative that enables international nationals to buy U.S. legal status for the price of a million dollars, with a "premium" version for $5 million. An official portal promises processing "with unprecedented speed." "One message here to rich foreigners: before you pony up, have you considered Canada?" Colbert joked. He noted that the scheme is also designed to "squeeze cash" from companies wishing to hire skilled workers, involving hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you enroll, you also get free accommodation at a hotel of your selection – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he added. "Unprecedented screening the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these people truly qualify to be in America." "That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Roast On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card." "It's a card that will permit rich foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your choice." "It might be time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked. Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, noting it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo." "Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Struggles Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval numbers amid financial concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he explained. This week, in a bid to tackle affordability, Trump held a press conference in front of a selection of food items, where he reacted oddly to boxes of cereal. "What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages." "He is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?" Meyers wrapped up by targeting right-leaning news arguments of Trump's economic record. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he laughed.
TV's prominent entertainers devoted their evening criticizing President Donald Trump's recently announced visa program, dubbed the "gold card," characterizing it as a blatant pay-for-access arrangement for the wealthy. Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Spin Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical holiday jingle directed at the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, and then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... ruins each thing he touches." The focus was the controversial initiative that enables international nationals to buy U.S. legal status for the price of a million dollars, with a "premium" version for $5 million. An official portal promises processing "with unprecedented speed." "One message here to rich foreigners: before you pony up, have you considered Canada?" Colbert joked. He noted that the scheme is also designed to "squeeze cash" from companies wishing to hire skilled workers, involving hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you enroll, you also get free accommodation at a hotel of your selection – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he added. "Unprecedented screening the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these people truly qualify to be in America." "That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Roast On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card." "It's a card that will permit rich foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your choice." "It might be time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked. Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, noting it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo." "Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Struggles Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval numbers amid financial concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he explained. This week, in a bid to tackle affordability, Trump held a press conference in front of a selection of food items, where he reacted oddly to boxes of cereal. "What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages." "He is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?" Meyers wrapped up by targeting right-leaning news arguments of Trump's economic record. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he laughed.